About

What Kind of “Floop is a Madman Help Us Save Us” person would make this blogsite?

Well let me tell you.

He’s 6’1″. Weight is none of your business, but dating profiles say a number that’s slightly lower than is correct. Flat footed. Perfect nose…minus the sinus cavities (it’s aesthetically pleasing but functionally useless). Gap toothed and…well, not proud, but acknowledging. Bad back, knees, ankles. Doesn’t smoke. Drinks to become sociable despite the anxiety saying “hush no one wants to hear your vocal timbre.” Has anxiety depression and at least two other undiagnosed things that are just…ugh, amirite?

Has long hair because he figured he might as well. Can still do double pirouettes. Had a small but mighty window where he could do the splits. Allergic to onions, peppers, cilantro, and high levels of garlic. Wants you to know yes it’s an allergy not that he doesn’t like them. No it’s not life threatening but it’s not great either. Doesn’t care for abs in a partner.

Some positives (because this has been very self deprecating and my New Years resolution four years ago was to be less self deprecating)! Likes candles. Cooks like the dickens (would you be so lucky to get invited to one of his dinner parties). Has a horrible memory for tv quotes. Wait, nice things. Sorry, take two.

Hmm.

I’m sure there’s more.

Ah well.

He’s happy to write for you. Maybe with you. Occasionally around you. Ultimately, this is a therapeutic journaling outlet that we can all collectively (all three people who read these) embrace. Let’s swim on, letting the current guide us to whatever timely but ridiculous content this goofball dreams up.

See you on the other side.